Story of my life? I wish...
Seriously, it's actually the newest naughtiest food child of the same family who brought the L.A standard Guelaquetza restaurants. This place is perhaps the only restaurant positive of making even the most pizza/flaming hot cheetoes-esque of my old East L.A Garfield High School homies become even the most diligent of austere foodies.
It's a concept that Bricia Lopez and her brother Fernando Lopez brought to life after a recent trek to Puebla and discovering the delicate beauty of their street staple, a Cemita Poblana, the omnipresent sandwich of Puebla. Freshly baked, dense, rustic roll dusted with Ajonjoli (Sesame Seeds) and made with the legit stuff, not Crisco...yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Seethed with Milanesa, Quesillo, Queso Panela, Avocado, Chipotle, and the ever acquired taste of Papalo, an herb that smells like if a really thirsty deer just walked on top of it.
...confuse a Cemita with a Torta here and you probably would get immediately run out of the restaurant with your face caricatured on one of the many facetious murals surrounding you, maybe next to this one, peeping at at you while you do your business.
Admit it, we all have our different tastes when it comes to these things...But I'm sure las cabronas available here will satisfy even the most kinkiest of preferences.
Traditional? Perhaps La Tetanic.
Milanesa de Pollo (Breaded Chicken)
Simple? Maybe La Pipiris Nais
Jamon (ham)
Picky? How 'bout La Tuya
Whatever you want, any way you want it...
And for you confident sticklers--you know who you are--not just settling for anything and wanting it ALL, there's: La Más Cabrona, with an impressive head cheese that would stand up pretty well on it's own next to any Italian premium Charcuterie platter.
("Milanesa de Res, Queso de Puerco, Y un Chingo de Aguacate")
How do I like 'em? Well,you all know me, exotic, spicy with a tender bite is always a plus. I like me La de Barbacha
Barbacoa de Borrego Enchilado (Seasoned Lamb)
Drinks anyone?
Micheladas here with all these voluptuous cabronas is a godsend, preferred Chela (beer) of Pacifico present with all the fixin's of that signature Oaxacan-arthropod, pungent taste. Spicy yet soothingly refreshing, almost crossing the threshold into savory with the cultural additions of Salsa Inglesa (Worcestershire Sauce) and the haunting earthy taste of dehydrated Gusanos de Maguey (larvae, which bore in Agave Tequila plants) up in the mingle with that tiny, dastardly chile known as Piquin.
Of course, the usual homemade Aguas Frescas are also available, revolving daily but always having Guelaguetza's renown blended Red Tuna-tinted (prickly pear) Horchata, almost inedible seeds and all. Made authentically with Mexican imported Tunas and rice only (no milk), generous with toasted pecan pieces and cut up ripe melon. Sundae spoon included to become your own mixologist.
You don't swing the Cemita way you say? Oh, into that black [bean], slender thang, Las Cabronas got yo' back...
Clayudas here are folded over and griddled until just the edges are crispy, but the middle still soft. With those beans, Quesillo (Oaxacan String-stlye cheese) and and air-dried, spiced meat of choice: Cecina Enchilada (spiced pork) & Tasajo (aged beef).
The only legally-legit Quesillo available in L.A.
They give you the option of having 'con Asiento' (straight translation to: sit; chair) or not, I'm sorry sweetbreads but this now takes the prize for the most non-offensive, misleading food term--refers to that luxurious, swoon effect taste of lard.
spice-rubbed Cecina...yeees.
The fold-over effect doesn't sound like much but phenomenally makes it into a whole other creature in itself...Should give anyone that describes a Clayuda as a Mexican Pizza a good 'at the moment' description predicament.
On my way out, I see a sign and find out that they are open until 4AM Thursday to Friday.
Now that and this...is the story of my life.
CEMITAS & CLAYUDAS PAL CABRÓN...Y CABRONAS QUE LO ACOMPAÑEN
2560 E. Gage Ave.
Huntington Park, CA
90255
(323) 277-9899
www.lascabronas.com
