Friday, June 19, 2009

CEMITAS & CLAYUDAS PAL CABRÓN...Y CABRONAS QUE LO ACOMPAÑEN: Hey, That's Me?!


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Story of my life? I wish...

Seriously, it's actually the newest naughtiest food child of the same family who brought the L.A standard Guelaquetza restaurants. This place is perhaps the only restaurant positive of making even the most pizza/flaming hot cheetoes-esque of my old East L.A Garfield High School homies become even the most diligent of austere foodies.

It's a concept that Bricia Lopez and her brother Fernando Lopez brought to life after a recent trek to Puebla and discovering the delicate beauty of their street staple, a Cemita Poblana, the omnipresent sandwich of Puebla. Freshly baked, dense, rustic roll dusted with Ajonjoli (Sesame Seeds) and made with the legit stuff, not Crisco...yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Seethed with Milanesa, Quesillo, Queso Panela, Avocado, Chipotle, and the ever acquired taste of Papalo, an herb that smells like if a really thirsty deer just walked on top of it.

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...confuse a Cemita with a Torta here and you probably would get immediately run out of the restaurant with your face caricatured on one of the many facetious murals surrounding you, maybe next to this one, peeping at at you while you do your business.

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Admit it, we all have our different tastes when it comes to these things...But I'm sure las cabronas available here will satisfy even the most kinkiest of preferences.

Traditional? Perhaps La Tetanic.

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Milanesa de Pollo (Breaded Chicken)

Simple? Maybe La Pipiris Nais

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Jamon (ham)

Picky? How 'bout La Tuya

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Whatever you want, any way you want it...

And for you confident sticklers--you know who you are--not just settling for anything and wanting it ALL, there's: La Más Cabrona, with an impressive head cheese that would stand up pretty well on it's own next to any Italian premium Charcuterie platter.

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("Milanesa de Res, Queso de Puerco, Y un Chingo de Aguacate")

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How do I like 'em? Well,you all know me, exotic, spicy with a tender bite is always a plus. I like me La de Barbacha

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Barbacoa de Borrego Enchilado (Seasoned Lamb)

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Drinks anyone?

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Micheladas here with all these voluptuous cabronas is a godsend, preferred Chela (beer) of Pacifico present with all the fixin's of that signature Oaxacan-arthropod, pungent taste. Spicy yet soothingly refreshing, almost crossing the threshold into savory with the cultural additions of Salsa Inglesa (Worcestershire Sauce) and the haunting earthy taste of dehydrated Gusanos de Maguey (larvae, which bore in Agave Tequila plants) up in the mingle with that tiny, dastardly chile known as Piquin.

Of course, the usual homemade Aguas Frescas are also available, revolving daily but always having Guelaguetza's renown blended Red Tuna-tinted (prickly pear) Horchata, almost inedible seeds and all. Made authentically with Mexican imported Tunas and rice only (no milk), generous with toasted pecan pieces and cut up ripe melon. Sundae spoon included to become your own mixologist.

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You don't swing the Cemita way you say? Oh, into that black [bean], slender thang, Las Cabronas got yo' back...

Clayudas here are folded over and griddled until just the edges are crispy, but the middle still soft. With those beans, Quesillo (Oaxacan String-stlye cheese) and and air-dried, spiced meat of choice: Cecina Enchilada (spiced pork) & Tasajo (aged beef).

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The only legally-legit Quesillo available in L.A.

They give you the option of having 'con Asiento' (straight translation to: sit; chair) or not, I'm sorry sweetbreads but this now takes the prize for the most non-offensive, misleading food term--refers to that luxurious, swoon effect taste of lard.

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spice-rubbed Cecina...yeees.

The fold-over effect doesn't sound like much but phenomenally makes it into a whole other creature in itself...Should give anyone that describes a Clayuda as a Mexican Pizza a good 'at the moment' description predicament.

On my way out, I see a sign and find out that they are open until 4AM Thursday to Friday.

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Now that and this...is the story of my life.

CEMITAS & CLAYUDAS PAL CABRÓN...Y CABRONAS QUE LO ACOMPAÑEN
2560 E. Gage Ave.
Huntington Park, CA
90255
(323) 277-9899
www.lascabronas.com

Cemitas and Clayudas Pal Cabron in Los Angeles

11 comments:

weezermonkey said...

Those wall paintings are hilarious! But I think the food photos are, without a doubt, far sexier. ;)

Naughty food child of Guelaguetza? Sold!

Food GPS said...

Good find. Definitely interested in trying the cemitas, michelada and papalo. "An herb that smells like if a really thirsty deer just walked on top of it"? That's hard to imagine, but hopefully not for long.

Exile Kiss said...

Hi Teenage Glutster,

Nice review. :) How would you say this compares with the best Cemitas and Clayudas you've had in LA? (and where would that be? :) Thanks!

pleasurepalate said...

This place looks hilarious! Those paintings are a blast. I'm definitely going to check it out, but more for the cemitas than anything else. :)

glutster said...

Exile,

Well, the fresh baked bread makes a world of difference, also, hardly any places put papalo on them unless specifically asked for (not even on menu usually).

Milanesa is spiced well, and good balance with rest of things.

Clayudas are different here because of that fold effect. Corn taste comes through though, notable. Black bean puree not dry like in a lot of places.

Anonymous said...

i love this place!!! amazing food and really cool vibe!

jjenvy said...

wow this is cool and funny nice entry.

SinoSoul said...

If these clayudas are the same as those found @ Guelaguetza, I'm gonna have to totally pass. It's just yet another form of Mexican manipulation of masa, topped with more stuff. no thanks.

Kirby! said...

As a lady, I feel like I should be really offended by this place, but it's sort of hilarious. And it's hard to resist the allure of tortas, lard, and boobies, all in one place.

Anonymous said...

hey man, this place looks classic!! by the way... we got you hooked up for that kombucha workshop on the 25th. here's the flyer:

http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa55/colonycollapse/PTCF.jpg

peace!!

p.s. collab post? that would be freakin awesome. let's talk about it next time we meet up!

sdfafsadf said...

tetanic...wowza. can't wait to try this place.